Balance

I'm starting to understand why moms talk about finding a balance in their lives between raising their kids and pursuing their own hobbies, interests, etc.

When Micah was a baby, I poured every bit of myself into caring for him. EVERYTHING else slid.  And I was absolutely okay with it.

Then Micah got older, and I was able to start pursuing hobbies and doing "me" things with him in tow.  I remember telling my friends how great it was to start wearing makeup again, LOL.

Now I have another baby, but I've been doing the "me" things for a couple of years, with a kiddo in tow, so I am used to that kind of flow of life, and a second baby feels like an interruption of that flow--especially with a 3-year gap in between.

I guess it was such a dramatic change, and the learning curve was so steep, with a first baby, that I really had no choice but to let myself get completely consumed by motherhood so I could learn even just the basics.  Going from one baby to two babies was simply not as hard, even though I got the special challenge of reflux babies both times (lucky me!).  Maybe that was one of God's ways of forcing me to slow down and pay attention to baby #2.

I've been chasing the "me" things since Benji was born, trying to get back to that "normal" state too quickly, and I feel like maybe this is why veteran moms say the little years go too fast and to treasure them.  I wish I felt the same urgency to bond with Benji that I did with Micah. Maybe if I pray for it, God can arrest me in my powering down the path to "normal" and help me pay better attention to what's in my hands right now.

Fourth Grade

At our church, there's a program called "Relievers," where couples or individuals from the church can volunteer to teach a Sunday School class for one Sunday (or however many they want) a summer to give the regular S.S. teachers a break. Stephen and I signed up way back in June for today, to teach the 4th grade class. It was a good experience for us, I think. It was our first experience together as a couple with children, and we got a vague idea of what our roles are like when we are with kids.

We were told that this group was probably the worst one. I kind of wish I'd never been told that, though, because it made me SO nervous, until I was dreading the experience. :/ But it really wasn't that bad. The worst of it was that the kids couldn't stop talking--mostly the boys. There were about 6 or 7 boys and 4 girls. But they weren't disrespectful at all, which I suppose is what I was expecting with a report of "the worst group."

We were told we would have to "be firm" with the boys who were the troublemakers. Stephen did his best, bless his heart, but I think he might have a softer heart than I do when it comes to working with kids. :D I also learn names faster, and could call out individual kids' names when they were being too noisy. The boys still did an awful lot of talking and competing with one another. But it gave me an idea of what to expect next time we're in a situation like this, which is a springboard for learning how to respond.

I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. I felt... Maybe not "in my element," per se, but not too terrified, which is an improvement from college, LOL. (I didn't teach Sunday School in college, but I did have to do field experience while I was an Education major.)

The kids have really good curriculum. It's from a program called Grapple. It allows for a lot of interaction and asks good questions, and uses a variety of ways to drive home the same point. Today's point was that we might give up on God sometimes, but God never gives up on us. Unfortunately, some communication lines got crossed and it turned out that the children had already had that lesson 2 weeks ago. :/ So Stephen and I improvised and just had the children talk about what they learned in that lesson. That was a little difficult with all the children wanting to talk at the same time... Stephen finally brought out a Dixie cup and made a game that whoever was holding the Dixie cup could talk, but everyone else had to stay quiet. That worked okay, but then the boys started fighting over who got the cup! I tell you, they wanted nothing more than be in the spotlight. Stephen told me later that they were probably competing for "top dog" or the Alpha male position in the group. This is going to sound silly coming from my mouth, but Stephen will be an invaluable resource if we have boys! :) I have no idea if I will have boys or girls, but I know God has a sense of humor and it would be a perfect execution of it if we have all boys, LOL. And it will be so good to have Stephen around then. I'm learning very much why a home should have two parents in it.

Anyway--what a good experience! With just one encounter with children, I feel like maybe I'm not quite as clueless about raising them as I thought. I am so glad Stephen and I did this. Maybe in our next year of marriage (42 days 'til our anniversary!) we'll make a point of getting more experience with children in. I'm beginning to think I wouldn't even mind teaching a Sunday School class on a regular basis... Kind of exciting! :)