CHRISTMAS!

I am super excited about Christmas this year. I'm not sure if it's that we are planning on going to my grandparents' for Christmas, or if it's hoping that Christmas will be make up for a less-than-awesome rest of the year, or if it's the uplifting feeling of solidification in our marriage, or if it's a change in heart. But I'm really ready to decorate up for Christmas, light candles, drink spiced drinks, and let the lights of a Christmas tree reflecting in glass ornaments bedazzle me.

I've spent the last three or so years in deep cynicism and I think this year God has renewed my innocence and my childlike faith. I worry a bit that it'll go away again sometimes, but when I don't think about it, I simply dwell in peaceful joy of trust. I wish I had more moments like this across my lifetime. But for now I am so glad that God has brought me to this place of renewal.

A Tearful Goodbye

We said goodbye to the refugees tonight.

It was rather sudden. They are moving to Pennsylvania, in hopes of finding jobs over there.

I always knew our time with them would be temporary. Last week when I learned that Samira and her dad were in Pennsylvania, I kind of felt that our time with them was coming to a fast close. The rest of the family joins them a week from today, July 7. We helped them look for flights today.

We didn't get to say goodbye to Samira and Said. In a way, that was almost better, because it would have been really, really hard to say goodbye to Samira. I really learned to love that girl, and toward the end she was really starting to trust me.

I started crying when we left tonight. Then Soher and Salima (the mother) started crying. We hugged a lot, and they called over Sara, who was at a neighbor's house, to say goodbye, too. It was extremely difficult. But it was such a relief, in a way, to see them cry--to know that they loved us, too. That it wasn't a one-way relationship.

Sometimes I think the cultural and language differences made our relationship even more meaningful than it would have been otherwise. They didn't hear our words; they saw our actions. We visited them faithfully every week, helped them with whatever they needed every week, and I think that spoke much more to them than words ever could, Arabic, English or otherwise.

I also think the cultural and language differences made the goodbyes more real. With them, there was none of this meaningless, "We'll keep in touch," said with a polite nod and smile and an anxious get-me-out-of-here-quick look behind the eyes. No--those American rules of etiquette were irrelevant here. We cried, and they cried. And we hugged, obeying the deepest, most honest desires of our hearts. It gave us closure.

Closure is something we all seek at the end of an era, a chapter, a friendship. So many times I think we obey the rules of society instead of the rules of our hearts, and we don't get that closure. America doesn't like goodbyes, I don't think.

The refugees are nomads; their time in Portland, and with us, was always temporary. In a way, their lifestyle better reflects the truth of our existence than the American way does. We are all temporary residents here. One day we'll all say our goodbyes.

I have lots more thoughts on goodbyes, but I think I've said enough for tonight. It's time to take my tears and rest on God, and sleep with peace in His arms.

Grandparents House Visit

Stephen and I went to my grandparents' house this weekend to celebrate my grandma's 71st birthday. My mom and sister also went, and my aunt and her boyfriend surprised us all by showing up as well. :)

Saturday was a crazy, fun day of Apples to Apples, birthday cakes, ice cream and presents. I gave my grandma 21 homemade cards that I've been working on since February. That was what prompted the whole trip--both me and my mom wanted to see Grandma's face when she saw them. She loved them!

Sunday, we went to my home church and I was delighted to see old family friends again. I took a walk down memory lane with Stephen at my old elementary school, walking around and telling him all the memories I had connected with the school. What a fun trip through the past!

The rest of my family left on Sunday afternoon, but Stephen and I stayed another night and were blessed to spend time alone with my grandparents. We played a hilariously frustrating game of Sorry! and talked with them about family, marriage and spiritual things. Peaceful chatting nights with my grandparents is what I most look forward to whenever I visit back home.

My grandma is having hip replacement surgery on Wednesday morning, so please pray for her. My grandpa injured his knee a while ago, so also pray that he will be able to do things for her while she is recovering.