CHRISTMAS!

I am super excited about Christmas this year. I'm not sure if it's that we are planning on going to my grandparents' for Christmas, or if it's hoping that Christmas will be make up for a less-than-awesome rest of the year, or if it's the uplifting feeling of solidification in our marriage, or if it's a change in heart. But I'm really ready to decorate up for Christmas, light candles, drink spiced drinks, and let the lights of a Christmas tree reflecting in glass ornaments bedazzle me.

I've spent the last three or so years in deep cynicism and I think this year God has renewed my innocence and my childlike faith. I worry a bit that it'll go away again sometimes, but when I don't think about it, I simply dwell in peaceful joy of trust. I wish I had more moments like this across my lifetime. But for now I am so glad that God has brought me to this place of renewal.

And I Thought My Life Was Boring!

Well, THAT was exciting!!!

I was calmly sitting in the office, working on a special Christmas scrapbooking project. I was about to place a sticker down on a page when I heard feet scrambling up our staircase, a frantic hammering on our door and a muffled exclamation I almost couldn't make out. But after a second the words registered in my mind: "FIRE! GET OUT!"

I am slightly embarrassed to admit that no clear thoughts went through my head. I went into total panic. Paper pad and sticker in hand, my brain checked out and sheer survival mode kicked in. "What?!" I shouted to the door as I ran to it. "Where?!" As I opened it, I heard the manager say, "Over there!" Somewhere in the back of my brain, I noted the irony of seeing my manager clopping as fast as she could down the stairs in her suit jacket, pencil skirt and heels to go evacuate the other apartment dwellers, looking pretty panicked herself. Then I glanced to the right and saw a wall of orange flames leaping up from the front of one of the garages next to our apartment building. It felt like that moment in movies where you see a close-up of a terrified stare and the blazing fire reflecting in it.

I tore around the apartment trying to make sense of what to do. I still had a sticker on my hand and I couldn't pick anything up with that hand until I found somewhere to put the sticker down, and I couldn't just throw it away because it was the only one I had in that color and I NEEDED to put it on the paper, but I couldn't think straight enough to find the right spot in this state, so I ended up just plopping the paper pad down on the kitchen table and sticking the sticker on a receipt next to it. In my mind I had images of flames jumping from a tree to a house, or in this case a garage to a house, and my only thought was, "GET OUT!" I grabbed just my jacket and my purse and ran out the door, only thinking to grab my keys at the last minute because they were hanging on their hook next to the door. And then for some stupid reason I locked the door behind me. But the last image I had was Genevieve staring at me as I went out the door. And it suddenly dawned on me that if I left Genevieve in there and our house caught on fire--this thought was interrupted by a sudden flash of logic which cut my panic down to size. The fire trucks and fire fighters were already here and already dousing the fire and it was nowhere near enough to the apartment to catch it on fire, and the wind was blowing the other direction.

My thoughts started making more sense, but I was still shaken up. If I wasn't in danger, should I go back into the apartment? But the manager had told us to get out. And dozens of families were standing outside their apartments. She probably didn't want us back in until it was under control. That made sense anyway.

I called Stephen's cell. He didn't answer, so I called his work number, praying he would answer. Thankfully, he did. I watched the thick, billowing smoke and couldn't even think how to begin for a moment. Finally I told him everything that had happened so far--the knock on the door, seeing the fire, grabbing my coat and purse. "Did you grab anything else?" he asked.

"No," I said. "Not even Genevieve!" And then I just rambled to him, processing out loud. "Should I go back in and get things? It's not reaching over to our apartment."

"Maybe our laptops, and the network drive," said Stephen.

We talked for several minutes as I watched the fire being taken under control. Our neighbor with the 5 kids went back into the house at one point briefly, and came back out with her children's jackets. I agreed to get the laptops and network drive out of the house and just at least put them in our car.

At one point, I finally said, "I wish you were here." Stephen said he could probably call his boss and explain the situation and ask if he could come home, at least temporarily. That sounded good to me. "I'll call you back," Stephen said and we hung up.

A minute later he called. "I'm coming home!" he announced.

After we hung up again, I decided to go get the computers and network drive. It was more out of a kind of follow-through with what I said, though, because by now the fire was out and there was just smoke. It was a little scary being in the apartment--I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be or not, and it made me nervous not being able to see the fire through to its bitter end and make SURE it was out. I didn't want to stay in there, not knowing, for long.

People were still standing outside, watching. I watched with them as the firefighters came around the back of the garage with a chainsaw and some picks and things. They sawed open the back of the garage and took it off in pieces. Everybody got closer, LOL. One of my neighbors had gotten out his digital camera and was taking pictures. Several people were taking cell phone shots.

We were already losing daylight, but I could see the remains of a charred car in there. Smoke still swirled up at the top of the roof. One little boy called out to a little girl asking what happened. I wish I could have understood what she said, but all I caught was, "He got burned here," and saw the girl gesture to her left forearm.

Stephen finally arrived and we stood watching the excitement for a few minutes. A little smoke still swirled out, but the firemen were cleaning up. I wasn't ready to go into the apartment until I heard it was okay, so Stephen and I asked a fireman as he rolled up the fire hose. "Yeah, the apartments are fine," said the fireman confidently. "You can go back in." Phew!!

Stephen left shortly afterward. I brought back in the laptop and network drive, still a little nervous about doing so. I'll tell you one thing I learned from this experience. We are NOT prepared in any way for the event of a real fire on our house. When Steve and I were on the phone, we talked about writing up a 5-step plan or something to help us get what's important out of the house if it does catch on fire. And I also learned that I really need to clean up, because it was extremely difficult to run around and get anything done or even get TO the important stuff with the current state of our house. Scary! So maybe this was a little extra motivation from God to get my house cleaned up. :) And also extra motivation for fire safety... I will never doubt Stephen again when he tells us to keep things away from the baseboards!

The Price of a Microwave

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to find the price of one microwave oven?

Let me tell you a story.

Back story: Our microwave went kaput last week. I did tons of research to see where the best place was to get microwaves at the lowest prices, and what were the best brands to get. Walmart had tons of reviews on many of its microwaves, and a lot of them had 5 stars. The best reviewed microwaves that were in our price range were Osters, Panasonics, and GEs. The worst reviews were on Emersons.

So with this knowledge in hand, Stephen and I drove to the nearest, safest Walmart, 17 miles away.

We found our way to the microwave aisle and all we saw on the price tags of the display items and the boxes below the display shelf were Emersons. However... On the display shelf, without a price tag, a UPC tag, a box, or any indication that the store even carried the brand anymore, was one Oster microwave.

I wanted that one, of course. But we wanted to know the price first. For that, we'd have to find a customer service representative.

...Right. Because Walmart has such a stellar track record for customer service.

Thankfully, we heard walkie-talkies bleeping nearby. So Stephen followed his ears and chased down 3 employees (employees #1, 2 and 3) pushing 2 carts that had two very large, heavy-looking objects in them. "Excuse me," said my ever-considerate husband. "We need some help finding a price on a microwave."

The three of them looked at us for a blank moment, and then one finally said, "We'll call someone for you."

Uh-huh.

30 seconds later we heard the announcement over the intercom: "Customer Service Representative in or near the housewares department to the microwave aisle for customer assistance please." Not bad response time... At least to call somebody...

Minutes went by.

Nobody came.

So I went off to find somebody, anybody. After traversing several aisles, I snagged an employee (person #4) as soon as he stopped talking to a customer, and asked him if he could help us in the microwave aisle, or call somebody who could. "I'll call someone," he said. So again we hear over the intercom: "Customer Service Representative in or near the housewares department to the microwave aisle for customer assistance please." Surely two calls would do it.

Minutes went by.

No one came.

So Stephen and I decided that if they can't come to the microwave aisle, we'll bring the microwave to them. We took the microwave we wanted off the display shelf and plopped it into our cart and rolled it over to Electronics. We explained the situation to a lady (employee #5) behind the Electronics desk. When it became known that we had taken a demo off the shelves, she said very sternly, "We do not sell our demos." Stephen and I were slightly chagrinned, until she added, "Unless we no longer carry the product anymore."

Stephen asked matter-of-factly, "Well! Can you tell us, then, if you still carry the product or not?" (I am so thankful for my straightforward, quick-thinking husband! :D )

"Well, I'll have to scan it to find out," she said. Stephen explained to her that there was nothing to scan. There was no tag on the product, as we had just shown her. There was no way of identifying the product.

Not so easily persuaded, she came out of her little stand, walked all 15 feet to the microwave aisle, and took a look at where our microwave had been.

Immediately, she picked up the price tag that was under where our microwave had been sitting and began to scan it. Even though it clearly said Emerson, and we had already clearly told her that our microwave was an Oster. I took the liberty of re-explaining to her: "That price tag is for an Emerson microwave. Ours is an Oster. There is not a single Oster to be found anywhere else in the entire aisle."

Surprised, she stepped back and surveyed the products. "Oh--oh!" she said. "I see your frustration!" She then proceeded to search again all over the microwave for a UPC tag of any kind. "Oh wow," she said when she finally decided for herself that there was, in fact, no tag at all. "I'm afraid I can't help you with that, if there's no tag. I'll have to call a manager."

So off she went to find a manager. Well, at least she was going to get somebody to help.

More minutes waiting.

Aaaaand more minutes.

It was a good thing Stephen and I were in unusually patient and good-humored moods today. :) (Honestly, I think it had something to do with me deciding not to work Mondays anymore, so we could have our Mondays back together.)

Finally, a girl wandered into our aisle (employee #5), presumably the employee finally responding to the two original calls for help in the microwave aisle. She also checked all over the microwave for a UPC tag, and then repeated what the lady had said: "I can't help you if there's no tag. I'll have to find a manager." We explained to her that the other lady was already off finding us a manager. So she went off, but soon she was back with the electronics lady. They stood looking at the microwave, perplexed, talking amongst themselves while we watched.

Then a young man came over (employee #6). He was about 30, with 3 days' growth of facial hair and no teeth. Or very few teeth. He never opened his mouth far enough for me to find out, but he spoke with his lips curled in a bit as if he had no teeth.

The other employees recapped him on the incident, and his intelligent response was: "Wow, I have no idea how to handle that." So the five of us stood looking at the microwave, until the lady and the girl left again. The guy hung around, and started talking about how factories sell the same product under different labels. "I think this one also sells under Sunbeam label," he told us. And he left momentarily to check his knowledge, but when he came back, his conclusion was, "Nope, totally different product."

The women still weren't back. Apparently he thought his job was to entertain customers until real help was finally brought. He entertained us with a riveting speech on how he learned from somebody that at the Del Monte factory, they stop in the middle of processing, switch the labels to Western Family labels, and then restart processing. Same product, different labels. "You really do pay for the name," he said. Wise man.

He dilly-dallied around some more until the women reentered, with yet another employee in tow (employee #7). Apparently he took that as his cue to go "entertain" some other customer. The new employee was dressed in a nice shirt and black pinstripe pants. Ahhh, here is the real manager! "Sorry, I just came in from lunch...," she apologized. Then she and the other women stood looking at the microwave, contemplating how they were going to find out which microwave it was, when Stephen finally opened up the microwave, pulled out the user manual, and said, "Perhaps you could try looking it up by model number?"

Lightbulbs. "Ohh! Yeah, we could do that..." The manager explained that the employees would have to go to a computer in the back room to look up the model and find the UPC code. The manager left to go put her stuff away, while the girl and the lady wandered around to the other side of the shelf. We heard the lady saying distractedly, "We'll have to find another product of the same brand, another Emerson."

Um, it was Oster?

Stephen and I continued listening as the two of them rounded the aisle, talking. I must've heard Emerson three times before the lady finally caught herself: "I mean--what was it? Not Emerson. Oyster. Oyster. We've got to find another Oyster product..."

She kept saying "Oyster" until her voice faded away.

More minutes.

The manager and the girl returned, separately. The girl told her manager she had found the microwave, and that it cost $85, and the manager asked, "Did you write down the number?"

"No," said the girl.

Sigh.

Off she went to go find the UPC number again.

The manager stayed only long enough to tell us that we would get a discount on the microwave, and then left us alone again in the microwave aisle.

Stephen and I were still, amazingly, in good humor about this, just snickering at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. But our legs were tired by now. Since Walmart was being ridiculous anyway, we decided to add to the ridiculousness. And sat down on the floor to wait.

At last, the girl returned, with the UPC code in hand. "Sorry about the wait," she apologized. "Will you guys take it for $49?" she asked us.

Even with all the drama and absurdity, I thought $49 was a pretty awesome price to pay for a $85 microwave! I agreed, but probably a little too quickly....Whoops. Stephen was more hesitant. "Will we be able to return it if it breaks?" he asked wisely.

"No," said the girl. "Since we don't carry it anymore, we can't take it back."

"What if it's dead on arrival?" Stephen asked.

"No," said the girl firmly. "We can't accept returns on discontinued items."

"Can we at least check and see if it works?" Stephen asked.

I would never have thought to ask that question. I'm glad he did, though. The girl seemed surprised, but the answer was not "no."

"Um, yeah, if you can just find an outlet--I think there's one over here," she said. She led us around a corner to a display shelf with outlets cleverly tucked behind it, out of sight. I had NO idea that stores would let you do that kind of thing. But she waited while we cleared off the shelf, put up the microwave, and plugged it in. Stephen put his lukewarm coffee into the microwave for one minute. We three calmly waited for all of 35 seconds, and then he pulled out the coffee to test it. It was warm enough that when he took the lid off it steamed up his glasses.

"Okay, we'll take it," we said. We unplugged it, redid the shelf, and plopped the microwave back into our cart.

The drama didn't quite end there. LOL. When we got up to the register, with our handwritten UPC code, we announced to the cashier, "You get us! We're fun!"

I loved her response, a very good-natured, "Good! I like fun." Haha!

And sure enough, it was indeed "fun"! She punched in the code. "Item not found" read the digital sign above the cash register. "Is that a zero or a 6?" she asked us.

"Well--I guess you can just try both until one works," I helpfully suggested.

She tried it again. "Item not found." Again. "Item not found." She tried about 3 more times until one finally worked. "Digital Oven - $49.00" the sign read. "Yaaayy!" we all cheered. (Okay, just I cheered. :) ) We paid for it and as we started to walk away, the cashier said, still in good spirits, "You're right! That was fun!"

So our crazy experience ended on a good note. :D And we now have a microwave that turns on AND heats up our food. Woohoo!

And if it breaks, well, we'll just have to call Oster.

Thank you, Walmart, for your stellar customer service. We now know that the price of a microwave is 7 employees (8, including the cashier!), an hour of our time, a no-return policy, and a discount because you are absolutely ridiculous.

Wisdom from Another

I felt like standing up and applauding after reading this blog from a mother of four. Brilliantly spoken.

Summer 2010 in Review

Summer is ending... Stephen gets home just before the sun sets now.  Most of the flowers are done blooming.  All day long the sunlight is redder, and the wheat fields are gold.  Even some of the trees are starting to turn colors already (much to my disbelief!).  Last Sunday as we drove out to the Coast to camp, a huge line of cars was in the returning lane of traffic--families coming home from their "last hurrah of summer" trips.

Our summer has passed by with a rather flat feel.  Our small group had their regular events--a beach day, a camp-out, and a movie night--but many of the events we had to attend late or were unable to attend because of my Saturday job.  And the group has changed in dynamic and feel.  Our old group leaders' baby is nearly 7 months old now, and two other couples are now expecting.  Another couple has found a different church to call home, and another couple we haven't seen much of at all this summer because of busy schedules.

Stephen has taken on the roll of leader again for the fall, but I won't be taking on the secondhand-man's responsibility of coordinating events or keeping the group up-to-date with e-mails as I did last time.  I'm simply not gifted in those ways.  I may be a writer, but it doesn't immediately make me a good coordinating communicator. :)

Our summer has even been slow photographically.  We didn't get out on any hikes at all.  Stephen took a few days to himself to take photographs, while I was at work or otherwise engaged, but I have only taken pictures of the arrangements I have done.

This next year is going to be full of a lot of change and transitioning, things I have never taken very well.  But some of them I am excited about--I took a second floristry class this summer and did really well in it.  I am also being blessed with opportunities to do more than just deliver flowers at my work.  I made my best arrangement yet today, and my supervisor and manager seem to have been impressed, which is incredibly exciting.  I sense that God's going to do something big in my life with flowers, and I haven't been so excited about something since I met Stephen!  :D

Another exciting thing is that my relationship with God seems to be entering into a growth spurt.  I have sensed reasons for things in my life that I would never have seen reasons for before.  I have even started doing personal devotions, something I haven't been successful at since...let's see...ever!  But I have asked others to keep me uplifted in prayer so that I can continue this pattern.

Stephen and I are coming up on our second anniversary, and I'm happy to say that we are much more solidified than we were in our first year.  We act so much more like a unit, which I was really not sure was going to happen while we were in our first year together, LOL.  God is good. :)

Some fun things we did this summer:

• Went camping at Beverly Beach together, just the two of us.
• I learned to sew and made myself a cloak.
• Found some clothes at a yard sale, and Battle of the Sexes.
• Cooked our own meals for 2.5 weeks!  (A big step for us.  Eating out is such a temptation!)
• Went to the beach several times.
• Used our Entertainment Book a lot (yessssss!).
• Had a lot of really good talks. :)

Overall, I'm glad the summer is ending.  I wish it had had more high notes and less flat ones.  But life's pendulum keeps swinging--it'll be up again soon.  Guaranteed.  It's like the seasons--no matter how terrible the winter, spring does follow with its new beginnings.

A Tearful Goodbye

We said goodbye to the refugees tonight.

It was rather sudden. They are moving to Pennsylvania, in hopes of finding jobs over there.

I always knew our time with them would be temporary. Last week when I learned that Samira and her dad were in Pennsylvania, I kind of felt that our time with them was coming to a fast close. The rest of the family joins them a week from today, July 7. We helped them look for flights today.

We didn't get to say goodbye to Samira and Said. In a way, that was almost better, because it would have been really, really hard to say goodbye to Samira. I really learned to love that girl, and toward the end she was really starting to trust me.

I started crying when we left tonight. Then Soher and Salima (the mother) started crying. We hugged a lot, and they called over Sara, who was at a neighbor's house, to say goodbye, too. It was extremely difficult. But it was such a relief, in a way, to see them cry--to know that they loved us, too. That it wasn't a one-way relationship.

Sometimes I think the cultural and language differences made our relationship even more meaningful than it would have been otherwise. They didn't hear our words; they saw our actions. We visited them faithfully every week, helped them with whatever they needed every week, and I think that spoke much more to them than words ever could, Arabic, English or otherwise.

I also think the cultural and language differences made the goodbyes more real. With them, there was none of this meaningless, "We'll keep in touch," said with a polite nod and smile and an anxious get-me-out-of-here-quick look behind the eyes. No--those American rules of etiquette were irrelevant here. We cried, and they cried. And we hugged, obeying the deepest, most honest desires of our hearts. It gave us closure.

Closure is something we all seek at the end of an era, a chapter, a friendship. So many times I think we obey the rules of society instead of the rules of our hearts, and we don't get that closure. America doesn't like goodbyes, I don't think.

The refugees are nomads; their time in Portland, and with us, was always temporary. In a way, their lifestyle better reflects the truth of our existence than the American way does. We are all temporary residents here. One day we'll all say our goodbyes.

I have lots more thoughts on goodbyes, but I think I've said enough for tonight. It's time to take my tears and rest on God, and sleep with peace in His arms.

Floral Delivery

Another answer to prayer! Back over Mother's Day weekend, I delivered flowers for a local florist for two days. Friday didn't go very well, but Saturday went great.

I had applied to be their regular Saturday driver when the position was open, but they ended up hiring someone else. Today, though, I got a call from them telling me their Saturday driver had gotten a full-time job and was not going to deliver for them anymore.... So they asked if I was still interested! I said yes, of course. I go in Friday for some instruction, and then hopefully I'll start Saturday.

I'm excited and nervous all at once. I can't wait to see where this leads. I genuinely hope this is my "in" into floristry.

I could say a lot more, but I need to head out for volunteer work. If anyone reads this, please continue to keep me in your prayers as I head into this new job. Thanks!

Good news and good news!

From an e-mail I sent my prayer group:

Isn't it wonderful when God answers prayer? Praise God for his faithfulness to us. We found out today that Tooth #15, since it isn't causing me any problems, does NOT need an immediate retreatment! In fact, the endodontist told me we can wait until next year, when my benefits roll over again! I cannot stop thanking God for his goodness in this respect.

I did have my sixth root canal on Tooth #14 on Saturday. It went well, all things considered. Everything did get completely taken care of, and the procedure itself was not painful. But the numbness wore off at the end and so my mouth was really sore for the last 15-20 minutes, while they finished up. But they took x-rays and saw that the canals were completely finished, and we were able to pay for it out of our savings. Next week I'll be getting the crown for that tooth seated, then that should be IT for major dental procedures this year!

We are so, so thankful that we won't have to get Tooth #15 worked on until next year. Thank you so much for all the prayers you have been sending our way. God is good. :)

Bad News, More Bad News, and Semi-Good News

An e-mail I sent to my "circle of prayers":

Well, keep me in your prayers. Tooth #14 is set for a root canal treatment on Saturday at 12:30.

It's been giving me a lot of pain in the last 4 days, day and night. I've been on ibuprofen pretty regularly. So on Saturday I go in to see the endodontist (the doctor who does the root canal treatments) to get it taken care of.

That's the bad news. The more bad news is about Tooth #15, my backmost upper-left tooth. I had a root canal treatment (RCT) done on that one about 4 years ago, in Nampa. So the nerves are gone, so I don't feel any pain, but apparently there is still something going on with it. In the x-rays, there's a pocket of dark area at the end of the roots of the tooth, in the bone. That usually means an infection.

I have a few options from here: a retreatment of the infected area, endodontic surgery, or extraction. Retreatment would be ideal, as it most closely resembles a regular RCT. Endodontic is a bit more invasive and would be necessary if adequate access to the infected area weren't possible by the usual means. Extraction is the most expensive of the three options, as artificial teeth cost thousands of dollars, so we pray very hard that we won't have to resort to that.

Tooth #15 will also need a crown. It should have had one years ago, back when the root canal was first performed, but I know that I was in college at the time and probably opted for the cheaper route of just having it filled. Unfortunately, choosing the cheaper option then may have prevented me from needing a retreatment on this tooth now.

Please continue to pray that God will provide for us. The semi-good news is that He already has provided some: Stephen found and signed up for a discount plan for the cost of these dental procedures, and it saved us $74 on cleaning, x-rays and an exam today, and it will probably end up saving us several hundred dollars in the long run. Praise God for that! But the cost will still put pressure on us with our current means. It would be great if I could get a job, or if Stephen could get a raise or a promotion. More practically and right now, just pray that we will be able to manage our money exceedingly well. All of these things would really help, and they are, of course, possible with God.

Thank you for your prayers and any encouragement you can offer.

Tooth Updates II and III

Whoops, forgot to keep this blog up-to-date! A couple weeks ago, they cleaned out the old filling and the new decay, and determined that the tooth was going to need a crown for sure. The root canal question was still hanging in the balance. Went in today again, and the doctor cold-tested my tooth for response time, and said that it was within the normal response time. YAY! So far so good. So they did the crown prep and put on a temporary crown. He told me that if it is still really abnormally sensitive after 5-7 days, to call in to make a root canal appointment. So me, Stephen and my circle of prayer warriors (love you guys) will continue to pray very hard that that tooth behaves itself, and a root canal won't be needed at all. That'd be AWESOME.

In other news, I had the happy fortune of landing a two-day floral delivery job last week. A local florist needed extra help for Mother's Day deliveries and hired me! WOOHOO! It was super tough the first day, but really nice the second. I officially have my foot in the door! Praise God! On Friday I'll be going in to pick up my paycheck and am trying to determine how to leave a good impression there as I do so. I'm chiefly trying to decide if I should ask about them taking me in for an unpaid internship. The idea scares me to death, but it could be worth asking.

Oh, and this is exciting news--or at least we think so. We're going to see my grandparents in June! For a week this time, or just shy of one. I'm totally stoked, and Stephen's really happy about it too, which makes me even gladder. :D Both of us thought our last trip felt just too short, so we're glad for a chance to make a longer one.

Tooth Update/God's Provision

I went to the dentist a couple weeks ago to get my crown seated; all that went well and is paid for, so now we are just waiting on news of this second tooth that might need dental work done. I have made an appointment that will be next Thursday (the 29th) to look at this other tooth. It'll go like this: When I go in on Thursday, the dentist will drill out the old filling in my tooth. Once he has gotten it all out, he will be able to determine two things: 1) if the filling is big enough that I'm going to have to have another crown, and 2) if the new decay is close enough to the root that the root is exposed and compromised and will have to be removed. One, the other, or both things are likely, and the dentist seems to realize this, but as a rule, nothing is absolutely positive until he gets into it and sees what the circumstances are.

I would like to add that we have really been blessed. In the last couple weeks, God has provided some of the cost of a root canal/crown combination through the generosity of friends and family. We are no longer worried about having to empty out our savings and pay for the dental work on credit. Praise God for his love for us!

Pray that despite the ease of this burden, we still have the strength to live carefully within our means. It's so much easier and more convenient to eat out all the time, and it has been difficult to fully make the transition to eating in more than we eat out. Continue to pray that God will bless me with a job, preferably in floristry, and that he will grant me the courage to go out looking for one. Thank you for your prayers and support. We wouldn't be anywhere without our loving friends and family, and the God that inspires the love within them.

Lessons in Materialism

I've been receiving some difficult lessons in materialism lately. With the new root canal and crown going in, money is super tight--way more than it's ever been before. We are cooking a lot at home, and have really had to cut back on our spending. I definitely do not get to buy new clothes or make-up or other nice things, which has been a lot more difficult than I like to admit.

God's way of teaching me that everything I own is His, not mine, is to bring me to the point of fear where I start envisioning all our household belongings, one by one, being stripped from us, to pay off debts and bills. I've read about that happening in books and I've seen it in movies. It might be a tad bit dramatic for a middle-class American, but boy, is it an effective lesson! I always end up crying, but after I cry and grieve, I find I've let go of all those belongings and entrusted my life back to God. It's sure not easy, but it's needed to break the hold all those things have on me.

That's just for me personally. Right now Stephen and I together are having a lesson in trusting God to provide for our needs. Another root canal and crown may be coming up for me, and we do not have the funds for it. Last year we were fortunate enough to get a large tax refund, but this year, our tax refund was quite small and has already been spent. We've signed up for a line of health credit, which we sincerely hope we don't have to use. We will use it if God doesn't provide the funds in other ways, but we're waiting to see what He does.

One of Stephen's favorite Bible verses to quote in tough times like this is a verse in Proverbs: "The horses are ready for battle, but the victory is the Lord's." He interprets it to mean that we should prepare in wise ways for times of financial difficulty, but ultimately everything is up to God. It's a tough line to walk.

We find out whether the second tooth is going to be a root canal on April 14th, when I go in for my 1st crown. The dentist is going into it as if it is simply a re-filling, but if he gets in there and it turns out my tooth's root is exposed, it's another root canal for me. For now we play the waiting game. And pray and hope.

In one small side-note--I had a job interview on Saturday! My first one in a year! It was with UPS--I just responded to a Craigslist ad, and they were holding all interviews the next day. It's just part-time and minimum wage. I find out at the end of the week what they decide. (More waiting!) That's all the news... Thanks for your prayers. A blessed Easter to you all.

One of my friend's Facebook statuses:
"As long as the tomb is empty, it doesn't matter as much about the milk jug, or the bank account, or the gas tank."

Wow, to have that kind of perspective! :)

Welcome, 2010!

Stephen and I are at his parents' this weekend, so I have some time to relax and gather my thoughts. It's always like a mini-vacation when we come up here for a weekend. His family is big, but very laid-back in their daily ins and outs and I enjoy it immensely.

We welcomed 2010 with a low-key New Year's party with a few friends from our young marrieds' group--Sara, Jason, Rachel and Ethan. Sara and Jason had little Levi Allen on January 27th and Stephen and I currently lead our small group in a study of Colossians. I also joined (with Rachel) a women's Bible study. They meet when they can, but generally 2 or 3 times a month. We're thankful that the Countryside women have welcomed us fairly-newlyweds into their group and hope to learn a lot from them about our relationships with God and our husbands.

My sister, Sam, joined the Marines this year and will be shipping to boot camp April 5th. Thank you for prayers for her physical, spiritual and emotional well-being as she undergoes the training necessary to make her a proud fighter for the American people. Thank you also for prayers for my family as we release her completely to God's protection and care.

I am still pursuing a job in floristry. My honest hope is to start in a humble position of cutting and cleaning stems while I gain experience. Pray that God will open and close doors to me as I seek His way and His will.

Thanks for reading this and sharing your love and support with us. We love you guys.