Sunday, August 6, 2017

Balance

I'm starting to understand why moms talk about finding a balance in their lives between raising their kids and pursuing their own hobbies, interests, etc.

When Micah was a baby, I poured every bit of myself into caring for him. EVERYTHING else slid.  And I was absolutely okay with it.

Then Micah got older, and I was able to start pursuing hobbies and doing "me" things with him in tow.  I remember telling my friends how great it was to start wearing makeup again, LOL.

Now I have another baby, but I've been doing the "me" things for a couple of years, with a kiddo in tow, so I am used to that kind of flow of life, and a second baby feels like an interruption of that flow--especially with a 3-year gap in between.

I guess it was such a dramatic change, and the learning curve was so steep, with a first baby, that I really had no choice but to let myself get completely consumed by motherhood so I could learn even just the basics.  Going from one baby to two babies was simply not as hard, even though I got the special challenge of reflux babies both times (lucky me!).  Maybe that was one of God's ways of forcing me to slow down and pay attention to baby #2.

I've been chasing the "me" things since Benji was born, trying to get back to that "normal" state too quickly, and I feel like maybe this is why veteran moms say the little years go too fast and to treasure them.  I wish I felt the same urgency to bond with Benji that I did with Micah. Maybe if I pray for it, God can arrest me in my powering down the path to "normal" and help me pay better attention to what's in my hands right now.